Hot off the Rejection: My Black Library Pitch for 'Dawnbringers'

 That Time Again

    Well for those that have followed me for a while now will know that I have a few traditions. One of which being hurling my annual pitch at the Great Library open window. I will be clear. This is about the only thing I will submit to each year. It is less about getting published, and more about giving myself a challenge. I wont pretend it is not a bucket list level item for me. 

    This year the limitation placed on submissions was that it had to be about the new edition of Age of Sigmar. Specifically the Dawnbringer Crusades. With a hint about focusing on the rank and file. Ok well I sketched out a joke image for my twitter followers, and then more seriously sat down and fleshed out my story idea. I had the idea that I wanted to write about a mercenary company who were hired to escourt a crusade scouting force. They would find themselves arrayed against both Krule Boys and Beastclaw Raiders. I wanted that classic order versus destruction conflict. 

    The story itself would be as followed. Halleck and his company would find their expedition lost in swamps that had been created by the Krule Boys. The Krule Boys would be wanting to drive them out. However, the Krule Boys have another threat to deal with in the form of a force of Beastclaw Raiders. They would deal with this two front problem by framing the crusaders for killing the son of the Ogor Chief. This is set up in the sample with the missing forager. Thinking the crusaders were to blame a vengeful Ogor chief would go after the crusaders. I had plans of having the Krule Boys chip away and harass both parties with their mind games. 

    I also wanted to explore how the Stormcast are viewed by the mortals and expand on that dynamic. I had two endings in mind for the work. The first being the arrival of the Stormcast saving the day only to reveal that Halleck and his group had been sent to bait out the Krule Boys, and thus throw a sinister shade over relations between mortal and Stormcast. Or the other option would be to have Halleck defeat at great cost both Krule Boys and Ogors only to be mortally wounded. His end being to be struck by lightning hinting at his ascension to becoming a Stormcast himself. I prefered the second as it was open ended and allowed for a continuation of the series if that was to happen. 

    Now the main body of this blog. I offer up my pitch. A simple on the ground look at some of the main characters. Enjoy. 

Black Library Open Submission 2021

100 word summary

                The Dawnbringer Crusade has begun, and all throughout the realms the faithful of Sigmar march forth to bring civilisation and light to the savage wilderness. Amongst the many arms of the crusade, Halleck Maynor, commander of the mercenary company ‘The Brazen Gryff-Hounds’, must safeguard a pathfinder expedition as they seek to find a location to place a Metalith and birth a new settlement.

                Yet not all welcome this encroachment, and framed for an assassination by diabolical Krule boyz, Halleck is now on a collision course with the vengeance of the Ogors. Can order overcome destruction?

Sample 500 words

                Halleck sat on a fallen log and scraped mud from his boot. He breathed in that same sulphurous fetid air and cursed once again. Do these swamps have an end? He wondered to himself. What had been supposedly a short stretch of swamp now seemed to grow daily. The cartographers and engineers had become sullen and prone to argument. Each blamed the other for their current situation. Halleck had been quick to shout down these conflicts. Morale was important. More so as it seemed since they had entered these accursed swamps that an oppressive fear had crept into the ranks. Managing these Dawners had become increasingly difficult.

                A rustling in the undergrowth to his side drew Halleck’s attention. His hand shot to the grip of his pistol. He breathed a sigh of relief as he recognised the shape of Mutt. Halleck lowered the pistol, and realised his nerves were also on edge. The Gryff-hound loped up to Halleck and dumped the ugly fish it had been carrying at its master’s feet. Then looked up expectantly. Halleck grinned and scratched the beast’s shoulder. Mutt was irony made flesh. The nobility and loyalty of Sigmar now scarred and battered by the realms. Halleck had found Mutt picking through the ruins of a sacked settlement. Missing part of his tail, a toe, his beak chipped, and a jagged tear in his flank. Mutt still had enough fight left in him to attack Halleck. At least that was until he had purchased the creature’s good will with his dried meat rations. Mutt had gone on to become the unofficial mascot for the company, ‘The Brazen Gryff-Hounds’, and a stout companion.

“Why do you keep that flea bitten cur?” sneered Boors, Halleck’s second in command, as he came striding up from the main caravan. His hard worn breastplate rattled around his thin frame and Halleck noted the sallow appearance of his friend. The flux that had hit the caravan had clearly reached his adjutant.
                “Mayhaps I prefer to have at least some better smelling company than what you offer me” Halleck retorted as the pair laughed at their ritual greeting. Halleck requested an update on the caravan’s progress. He was not surprised to hear the slow pace, and that they had to camp here for the night. Halleck did not like the terrain, but he had defended worse.
                “One of the foragers has not returned” Boors finished his report as if to save the worst for last. Halleck rubbed his jaw in thought. He looked down at the dozens of figures moving around the caravan bellow.
                “Have pickets patrol in pairs, light fires beyond the camp’s boundary, and ensure the black powder is kept dry” Halleck ordered in quick succession. He saw the momentary hesitation in his adjutant.
                “It will make the Dawners feel safer” Halleck shrugged, and saw the tension leave his second in command. Mutt loudly tore off a chunk of the slime covered fish and gulped it down. 

The Reflection:

    So now having submitted and getting my rejection I have some honest reflections. Firstly looking at the sample. I am never sure if I am getting stuck in the conflict between writing an action piece, or trying to instead just try to build some characters. In this sample I just wanted to show some down to earth boots in the dirt. I wanted to try in my own way to perhaps present a different image of what the mortal realms are like the 'spit and not the polish' you might so. Mutt was my attempt to comment on the idea that the propaganda does not match the reality. To also show that both Halleck and Mutt were two beaten up ideals. Perhaps it was a little laboured. 

    Next the story idea. Well perhaps it was a little too similar to a lot of the content already being produced. That is to say I believe that using the Krule Boys was something that I should not have done. In honesty Black Library and GW had already produced a large amount of content with them, and I suspect slightly they may have wanted something else. If I were to select another antagonist force I probably would have gone with Tzeentch cultists instead. I still get to go with the manipulative angle, but I would be branching out. Alternatively I could have just taken out the third group all together and doubled down on the Ogor versus Crusader conflict. 

    Overall, I am still happy overall with the attempt. There is always next year. Hope you all enjoyed the read and as always remember hospitality is sacred.