Of Fireflies and Fanfiction from 2006
Enter the movie Serenity. I had already been a fan of Firefly having picked up the DVD boxed set. I loved that show so much, and still do. I will duck for cover but it has been the old Whedon I have liked. I watched it on repeat. I had already had danced with the idea of writing some fanfiction and until that point. It would also mark the first time I had put any of my writing up for public consumption. recently my wife knowing full well my love of Firefly told me a show she was binging had a Nathan Fillion cameo and Firefly heavy episode. I watched it back with her and had a good little chuckle. Then in conversation it jogged my memory about the pieces I had written. A quick mental stretch to remember my old handle, and a google search and I was able to locate them. I wanted to share them here and reflect on this little literary time capsule from the now way back days of two thousand and six.
Without a Compass or Two
“The captain will be up soon, he’s just being sure to get
plenty of shut eye before we reach Lilac that’s all bao bei” Zoë assured her
‘naturally nervous’ husband as he plotted their descent into the atmosphere.
“Yeah well ai ren the captain’s been in somewhat of a ‘down’
mood. He only comes out to eat, oh remember what that was like?” Wash said in
would be reminiscent voice pulling a glazed over face. Zoë recognised this for
exactly what it was a further attempt by him to highlight the fact they hadn’t
had a real paying job in a long time.
“I’m sorry honey but ever since Book ‘left’ to stay on at
Haven and sermon a spell it’s like Mal’s slipped, it stared when Inara..” he
broke off after he spotted his wife’s furrowed brow and knew that he was flying
a little to close the sun with that last comment. Wash could read his wife’s
furrows like Serenity’s gauges and he was used to seeing them both in the red
line, but he always knew how to fix it. “The captain hasn’t ever really steered
us wrong although there was that great adventure with that sweet ol’ man Niska.
But you have to admit he’s changed the jobs we take are becoming fewer and
usually lean more towards the dangerous side” Wash said soothingly Zoë’s face
became less stern. Zoë came in closer to Wash and sat down in the co-pilot’s
chair her hands in her lap, Wash called this her defeated pose he rarely saw
it.
“We very nearly didn’t get this job, Fanti and Mingo are
about as good with Mal as Badger is the. Only thing is Mal seems to have lost
his ability to put up with people’s attitudes of late” Zoë punctuated he
statement with a weary sigh and Wash placed a comforting hand on her shoulder
which she took in hers.
“Well I guess if we do get paid from enough from this
we can always resume our epic struggle to find that naked beach” Wash said
bringing up one of the many private jokes the couple had and he smiled to see
that it brought the same sheepish grin from Zoë it always did.
“I’ll get
looking for it as soon as our cut is in our hands” she said moving in closer to
her husband and pressing her lips to his.
Mal sat at his small table in his cabin holding a small
pressed lotus flower in one hand twisting it in his grasp to see it from all
angles. He had found it in Inara’s shuttle along with a trunk of other
possessions she’d left behind in her haste to leave Serenity and him Mal mused
darkly to himself. The thing that struck him about the lotus was that it was
out in the open as if she had left it there for him to find, then again he
wondered whether he was simply reading to much into it again.
Looking across the table he saw the small grey metal viewer
that he’d found in the trunk though he’d promised himself never he would open
the trunk he had faltered a month after Inara’s departure and done so. He
carefully place the lotus back onto the table and picked up the viewer and
played the capture. It was made by Kaylee just before Inara had left and
despite the fact Mal had viewed it many times he was still shocked by the haste
with which the companion was packing he belongings. Her dark curls played
across her shoulders her walk was purposeful and graceful, Mal watched and
listened intently it hurt him every time he watched it but he needed to view
it. He mouthed along with the conversation that he had memorised now, Inara
asked Kaylee if she would ever put the capture down and Mal almost smiled at
Kaylee’s bright response before he realised what was coming the mechanic asked
the pivotal question and Mal burnt at the companions icy reply.
“That man doesn’t know what he wants” Inara’s voice echoed
around the cabin, Mal paused the capture his fingers stretched out toward the
woman’s image but suddenly recoiled as if stung.
Mal had pondered Inara’s words and found the truth almost
unbearable to live with he wished he could just put it out of his mind and to
an extent he had been able to so long as he had work to be getting on with.
However lately there hadn’t been much in the way of decent work and his mind
had frequently turned back to that one realisation.
It was that he knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted Inara
it was clear in his mind he had never been taken with a woman more in his life
and there was nothing in the verse he wouldn’t do to be with her. Except tell
her how he felt there had been so many times he wanted to, so many knowing
glances and not all of them from him. He had seen the way she looked at him on
those rare occasions they were in so many ways alike. They both disliked
complications, they both we at ease on Serenity and most of all they were like
parents to the crew. He was the gruff fatherly figure and she brought the
nurturing side to their Fong luh family, yet theirs was a strained marriage.
She inspired the best in him and also some of the worst in him, as scars he had
gained from a sword fight could attest for. Mal placed the capture back on the
table and leant back in his chair and thought about some of the choices he had
made since Inara’s departure he had taken any job he could and become somewhat
reckless, in fact it was this that had led to the ship’s second departure.
Shepard Book.
Book was the second biggest influence on Mal and was a kind
of moral compass but after Inara’s leaving Mal had taken a number of jobs that
didn’t sit well with Book and a number of arguments had followed. Mal had
finally managed push Book to breaking point by the time they had reached Haven,
Book had mentioned Inara in one of their more heated discussions. This had been
too much for Mal, Book still had Mal’s respect as Book had tried to put his
decision to leave down to wanting stay on and take care of the locals on
Haven. The Shepard could have put the blame on Mal but instead tried to save
Mal some face in front of his crew, however much of the crew still blamed him
for Book leaving them. Just like they blamed him for Inara.
He blamed himself as well.
Mal stood up went to the wall folded out the sink and washed
his face and tried to avoid looking in the mirror, he wasn’t sure he would like
what he saw there. He strode to the ladder and climbed up to the hallway and
continued on to the bridge where he found Wash bringing the ship through
Lilac’s atmosphere ruby flames played across the windows. He stood behind Wash
watching the planet grow larger beneath them. Suddenly a small plate of metal
rushed past the window with a loud clang.
“What was that?” Mal asked.
The Reflection
This was written a long time ago and I am not entirely embarrassed by it as far a first piece of fanfictions go it could have been much worse. There is a reason that fanfiction has a reputation of being a little hacky, and this piece has it in spades. The fact it is a classic trope of the male longing for his lost love is so on the nose. There is also no denying that is very much in the spirit of the characters, albeit ratcheted up to eleven. What can I say I am a romantic at heart, I certainly was at nineteen.
In terms of dealing with the source material I was definitely trying to lean into those Chinese phrases that were so much a flavour in the show itself. I could have probably stood to not try to layer in so many call backs to the show. This is something that so many fanfic writers do. Rather than simply accept the idea that readers know the setting and share a common capital of knowledge we must instead try to prove we are 'dem real fans' by making a million references.
I think this piece does what much of fanfiction tries to do is to fill in the gaps. Fans of a show, or IP, will often want to have more of the thing they love. For example here is where I hold up the massive shield that fanfic writers cling to for validation. Sherlock Holmes. Famously fans of Sherlock wanted more stories about the famous detective. So they wrote their own.
One thing I will always say in my approach to fanfiction is that what I wrote had to embody the spirit, lore, and rules of the setting I was writing in. This is not the kind of thing were suddenly everyone is a vampire wizard when it makes no sense. This is also something that is not limited to the world of amateur writing. Famously the EU Mass Effect novel 'Deception' by author William Deitz, who was taken to task by fans of the series for inconsistencies. Of course none so horrible as those that plague fanfiction in general. However, I feel that if you are writing in a universe you should play by the rules.
As far as characterisation goes. I would like to say I feel like I did a good job but in fairness to nineteen year old me. I did not. There character of Mal is angsty as hell. Wash and Zoe are probably closer to the mark. Though to be fully honest a friend once told me when it comes to Whedon shows the characters are usually all so close to the snarky witty side that any line could be put in any character and it would work.
Regardless this is interesting for me to look at as this might well be some of the last fiction I wrote before my creative writing studies at university. Before I hit the lands of higher learning, and with it the snobbery of creative writing. I am curious to now compare this to my writing now, and see if my overall style has remained the same. Or did my formal education change it. It is a fun bit of nostalgia being able to look back fifteen years.
Sacred Love
Alyssa drifted gracefully around the room igniting the oil
lamps that bathed their dormitory in a warm orange glow. Once the task was
completed Alyssa moved to take her place in the circle with her fellow
companions in training, this had become a near daily ritual since the arrival
of Inara Serra.
Alyssa sat herself on a large emerald cushion at the head of
the circle and gazed around the circle all the woman were lithe, tanned and
unimaginably attractive however none of them compared to Inara. She had taught
them all so much in the short time she’d been with them and yet there was
always more to learn, however she always preferred to avoid the act of sex as
much as possible. Many stories were abound about her past, ‘many of them put
out by me’ Alyssa thought to herself with amusement.
“So my mei meis what tale shall a weave for you tonight?”
she asked the room at large as she made herself more comfortable on the
cushion, the mutterings were broken by a timid voice from the back of the
group. “Why not tell the ‘Sacred Love’ story Alyssa?” the voice asked as a
heart shaped face made itself seen. “Come now Jana we heard that only two
nights ago” said a bored voice from the front row. “I know that but it’s my
favourite I’d like to hear it again and I’m sure I’m not the only one” Jana retorted
at Virmilla’s comment as a new wave of muttering broke out in the sound of
general agreement.
Alyssa smiled indulgently raising a placating hand to which
all conversation stop and only the dull hiss of the oil lamps could be heard,
she liked to build suspense this way.
“Captain Reynolds had just rescued Inara
Serra from her captors and was attempting to make his escape in a small shuttle
when they were hit by an anti aircraft gun their craft plummeting to the
ground. Malcolm snatched up the only parachute and put into Inara’s hands ‘if
only one of us makes it out I want it to be you’ he told here, but Inara threw
it away. ‘I wont leave with out you and there’s no life if not with you’ she
replied and strapped herself in as best she could to the shuttle’s co-pilot’s
chair” Alyssa drew a long breath to try and impress the gravity of the lover’s
plight.
“Just as they reached the ground they reached out and took each other’s
hand so that they wouldn’t lose each other. The shuttle crashed in a dense wood
and Malcolm scooped up Inara who had been knocked unconscious by the crash and
took refuge in an abandoned temple nearby. That night they found themselves
surrounded by their pursuers, who had now lit the temple on fire in an attempt
to drive them out. With no way out the lovers took the escape they had.” Alyssa
paused to further increase the suspense. “Malcolm took Inara in his powerful
arms and enfolded her in a passionate embrace pressing his lips to her forehead
as she ran her fingers through his long brown locks. With this they made such
desperate, passionate and sacred love it would have made the Buddha weep”
Alyssa continued to become poetical about the romance between Malcolm and
Inara. Meanwhile in the shadows beyond a mahogany partition screen stood Sheydra
wearing a blush on her cheeks as a smile played across her lips.
Sheydra remembered Malcolm Reynolds and he wasn’t the tall
strong man with the long brown locks that this young girl was spinning tales
of. He was just another pirate as far as Sheydra was concerned and though it
was clear he had feelings for them his tongue was nowhere near as eloquent as
that of the Malcolm of ‘legend’. Still it was a good story.
Inara sat in front of her mirror meticulously brushing her
long ebony hair she always found it relaxing to do this. She briefly thought of
how she had brushed Kaylee’s hair back on Serenity, she felt a familiar pull on
a worn heart string. She had been getting regular waves from Kaylee but they
always ended the same way.
“I wish you were here” Kaylee would always say and Inara
hurt because at times so did she. She wanted to go back to her shuttle and eat
food that made a rattle as it hit the plate and even have Mal annoy her.
Especially have Mal talk to her. He had never once sent her a wave too proud or
she wondered too hurt to talk to her. Their good bye had been a painful one,
more painful in fact then her leaving Sihnon. She had been so angry when she
had found out about Nandi and Mal but that had too quickly turned to guilt when
Nandi had died. Her friend had deserved that night of happiness, and sometimes
Inara thought she deserved it too. Too many complications. Yet Her and Mal were
similar in their dislike of complications, ‘two of a kind’ she mused to
herself. She placed the brush down on the dark wooden dresser and gave a
furtive look around to see if anyone else was around. She opened a small drawer
and took out a miniature geisha doll with a large bobble head and gave the same
near heartbroken smile she always did.
Mal had given it to her to remind of her time on Serenity,
‘as if I could forget it’ Inara thought. She had to laugh at the man’s choice
in gifts she had after all ranked the transporting of the dolls as one of the
most petty crimes the crew had undertaken. “If anyone asks say you stole it,
your own petty crime” Mal had told her when he had given it to her. At the time
she could only smile and placed a hand on his face, which he had put his own
hand over. It was clear he didn’t want her to leave but on the other hand he
respected a person’s free will too much to ask her to stay. One of the more
complicated parts of being a man with a code. She had always admired him and
found him more interesting because of his way. Shepard Book asking why she was
interested in the captain, she had told him so few men were as interesting. To
find a man that she didn’t understand was rare for a companion maybe that’s why
she indeed loved the captain. He had given her back the belief that love was
real. She had to admit she was utterly amazed when Mal had defended her honour
against Atherton, despite her protests against it. Her heart had leapt when he
had explained his reasoning to her later, she had always thought he looked down
on her but it was just her job and not her that Mal looked down on. Although
their happy ending to that little adventure had been a bloody one it still
bought a warmth to her.
She placed the doll back in it’s drawer and turned to a
picture Kaylee had given her. The whole crew was in it all beaming, ‘mostly for
my benefit’ Inara knew this. The mechanic was a terrible liar and she knew the
crew wasn’t doing well and she had heard of the Shepard’s leaving shortly after
the photo was taken. ‘He must be lost’ Inara realised as it hit her that Mal
had neither Book nor her to keep him on the path.
Gazing around her room it was more or less exactly as her
shuttle had been this was her way of feeling more at home, she would not change
it despite Sheydra’s complaints of it being cramped. This was her way of
feeling she had not left Serenity, in a way she felt that although she had left
a part of her had been left behind.
“Inara you should get your sleep you have a lot to do
tomorrow full day of lessons then there’s a gentleman wishing to see you,
Alliance ai ren” Sheydra noticed that Inara was again holding that picture of
Serenity’s crew, if not for her companion training would have rolled her eyes.
“Is something the matter mei mei your blushing?” Inara asked noticing the
crimson patches on her friends cheeks. “Oh just been listening to some old
stories being told in the female dormitory, about a rough captain and a
companion lover” Sheydra said attempting to be coy.
“Shuuma?” Inara said realising
the reference to her and Mal, however Sheydra had already drifted out of the
room.
Inara looked back at the picture her fingers
extended out towards Mal’s face but shied away as if stung when they had been
almost touching it. She placed the picture back on the shelf and gave it one
last long look before slipping off the stool and moving to her bed. She buried
herself in the silk sheets. This was the time that she most hated when her mind
was relaxed and not focused on some form of work. It would always stray to
Serenity and Mal. She drifted into an uneasy sleep.
The Reflection
First off I know one thing that has changed in my writing. I have a great deal more faith in my readers, and I offer you a full apology. I wish I had a dollar for how many 'Alyssa's there were in that piece. I definitely could have done with just a few generous uses of 'she'. This piece was written after the first one to act as a counter point to the first. Just as the first it was the same sappy love story of longing lovers, and somewhat stripped of any subtle approach. In fact it reminds me of my old saying 'smooth as sandpaper, subtle as a sledgehammer'. It was meant to be almost the same style of 'deleted scene' vignette.
Much like the first piece it has the same familiar approaches and criticisms. The over layering in of references to the show, whilst not trusting an audience of fans to recognise the references without ham fisting them. For example if I were to write this today I would have Inara just take out the bobble headed doll. Fans would recognise the reference having the shared knowledge to know what it is a reference to, without the 'hey look look! I watched the show' level over push.
I did like trying to explore the world of companions in the piece, especially given that due to the show's limited run fans were never able to fully explore this. However, being frankly brutal what I created seemed more like a pillow party than what it should have been. Also the pacing and slab of text syndrome does not help this piece. I probably wish I could have known a little more Chinese to add some flavour to the piece. I do like the idea that Alyssa holds such a position in the group due to the story teller role, and only wish I could have expanded more on this. Seems like a missed opportunity in retrospect.
In terms of Inara herself. I can not help but feel I made her far too similar to Mal. The way she was longing for him, going through old mementos, and general characterisation has the same angst ratcheted to eleven. Perhaps most egregious is the use of 'fingers recoiling as if stung', to use it in both pieces was a little much. However again this is fanfiction. Overall I feel again that her characterisation was almost right but far too exaggerated. A more subtle approach was needed. Although one of the biggest differences, and in no small part attraction to, written versus film. Is that in film we only get what the character is doing, whilst written fiction allows us to try and see exactly the thought processes and feelings of the characters. This personally is something that has always attracted me more to the written fiction. Especially to extended universe fiction of my favourite franchises. You gain a more intimate appreciation for the character over just what an actor can convey.
Overall I am not unhappy with the piece even though now as a thirty four year old I can see it as quite sappy. I can still enjoy it for the snap shot into a younger me that it provides. The young romantic. As a point of trivia one of my lecturers/staffers in the writing department at my university was eventually outed as being a Mills and Boon author. When asked about it she eventually said Mills and Boon makes bank. I can only say again that regardless of what written media you look at there is an audience for it.
Final Thoughts on Fanfiction.
When it comes to the opinions on fanfiction there always seems to be this polarity between those that love it and those who hate it. The snobbery vs the wanting to be appreciated, if I might make such a loaded dichotomy. The truth in my eyes is that one is given an air of legitimacy by being a published work, whilst the other is the work of internet amateurs. However I want to make two distinct points about the legitimacy of fiction. That which an authority has deemed CANON and NOT CANON. That which is given the tick of approval and called canon, also gets to boast a level of quality assurance that is denied that which is not canon such as fanfiction. However, that is not always the case and furthermore I would argue that all that is canon is not always good.
Take for example the Mass Effect Deception novel. It is by all accounts canon. Ignoring the storyline, which full disclosure I liked, and focusing purely on the elements that fans objected to. The author not knowing how basic in universe technology functioned, and instead reskinning real world tech. The novel has the tick of approval, and yet its quality is questioned. Also consider the reaction to movies such as The Last Jedi, or the belief amongst some that all of the prequels should be ignored. My point is that quality is something of a subjective judgement. I am not talking about structural, or grammar, I am talking about the fiction. Therefore, if something official can be so bad that its canon status is rejected by fans, then is it also possible that something good can be given canon status by a fans. This is not something limited to the written word either. Take for example the youtube series Astartes, which received such positive fandom response that Games Workshop have not signed the creator on.
My point here is not to argue that all fanfiction is good, and let us be frank a lot of it is not. There is even a youtuber who has dedicated a whole series of videos to reading these bad pieces out. For those interested go and look at MasakoX's youtube video. You may be familiar with his work in Dragonballz abridged as a voice actor. My point here is to perhaps say that you need to dispense with the lines in the sand. Just view it as fiction first. Imagine these stories less as the non canon, or amateur, but instead to look at them as potentially undiscovered. Yes, you might be panning for gold in a septic tank but when you do come across some quality fanfiction it is well worth your time.
Remember fanfiction can be where many aspiring authors begin. Consider that Hickman and Weis can trace their Dragonlance works back to submissions for adventure modules to TSR. That in 2019 the fanfiction site Archive of Our Own aka AO3, won a Hugo award. Though I did not go on to continue writing Firefly fanfics I did enjoy keeping up with a few. These days I tend to write mostly Warhammer Fanfiction, though my early foot steps did allow me to start developing my own ideas and settings. Do not be so quick to dismiss fanfiction as just a place for slashfics and bad highschool stories. So if you find yourself without the a novel to read, show to watch, or game to play, or even just happen to be stuck in a long trip with no idea what to look at. Why not try finding some fanfiction from your favourite IPs, because trust me if you like that IP someone has probably written fanfiction for it.
I will leave my musings here. For now I have to go and make my wife watch Firefly. Let me know what you think in the comments, and as always remember. Hospitality is sacred.
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